Has your mind ever been too agitated to rest, yet too exhausted to think? It happens to me far too often. I found that a modern take on the game of “I spy” became a mindfulness exercise to heal my brain during a time of immense stress.
“I spy” as Mindfulness
These photo collages are from an “I spy something orange” exercise I did in August.
Spiraling Emotions: Countdown to Day Off
I had been feeling months of stress taking a toll on me, and my coach, Melanie, (MK Doebler Coaching & Consulting) suggested that I schedule a day off to do something restorative for myself. I planned a vacation day for the end of the following week to reconnect with my creative self.
Mass Shooting Touches Home
The weekend before my scheduled Friday vacation, there were two mass shootings, one in El Paso and one in Dayton. While the whole country felt that all too familiar wave of sadness and anger, the story became personal for Saint Francis University where I work.
Sunday: Early Sunday morning, I received a call to come into work. As the official university communicator, I am part of a team of caring staff who gather on the rare occasion that tragedy touches our small campus family. Yes, I am the person who must try to convey something more meaningful than “thoughts and prayers” when words are impossible to find.
Two of our students were shot in Dayton. Nick Cumer died at the scene and Kelsey Colaric miraculously survived. The two had been in Ohio participating in the internship program at Maple Health Cancer Alliance as part of their Master of Cancer Care program at SFU.
National News Cycle
While I didn’t know either student, I can’t begin to explain the sense of loss I felt that week and in the weeks that followed as I watched those who loved Nick grieve. At the same time, I felt selfish angst as my workdays were derailed by press inquiries sweeping us into the frenzy of a national news cycle.
Tuesday: Tuesday evening the campus community came together for a Mass. Nick’s parents sat in the front pew mourning the loss of their son rather than celebrating his upcoming graduation. News crews from all over gathered outside of the chapel to document our grief.
They were respectful, and having been a reporter myself, I understood that they were doing their jobs. The evening ended with a press conference where Nick’s friends started the healing process by telling the world what Nick meant to them. In an odd way, I felt more meaning in my work that evening than I had experienced for a long time.
Wednesday: The information that Kelsey had been wounded was public on Wednesday and the press calls picked up again.
Thursday: By Thursday, I was an exhausted shell. I was so far behind that I questioned being able to take off the next day. Exhaustion won, and I kept the “vacation” day.
Friday: My day off arrived. No matter how hard I tried to relax, I just couldn’t. My body wanted to sleep, but my mind was a tangle of black thoughts. An inner voice told me to grab my iPhone. Then I start looking for things that were orange to photograph.
Seeing Orange Everywhere
For about 15 minutes, my mind quieted as I focused on the singular purpose: finding orange to photograph. Why orange? The color makes me feel alive.
The healing quality of this exercise for me was NOT CREATING ANYTHING that day. The goal was to take a simple snap without judging the photo’s creative potential.
Some of the objects were pretty like marigolds. Others were practical like detergent bottles. Frankly, I thought I would delete them later. On a different day, when my brain was feeling more energized, I went through the random photos and decided to do a few creative groupings of my favorites.
Try this mindfulness exercise at home
Here are the basics:
- Pick a thing to “spy” (color, shape, theme etc.)
- Go on a mini hunt around the house, yard and/or neighborhood.
- Snap a quick picture of that thing everywhere you encounter it.
- Optional follow-up– Look through the photos and reflect on the process – create something or not – whatever feels rightM