What do you do for fun?
It’s an easy opener in a “get to know you conversation.” Normally my response would be something like “sculpting, photography, cuddling cats, hiking, or watching Los Espookys on HBO.
Yet somehow today I am stumped by the question.
I’ve signed up for professional coaching sessions with a former colleague of mine, Melanie Doebler. To get the ball rolling she sent me a discovery sheet and asked me to dig deep on the answers. That brings me to “what do I do for fun?” I’m not sure that I even know how to “have fun.” Of course, I love doing many things, and I gain a deep sense of satisfaction from my art, but “fun” seems like a foreign emotion to me.
Even as a child, I didn’t enjoy freeform play like the other kids. My version of “play” needed to be goal-oriented__building something, planning something, dreaming up something. I also enjoyed sitting listening to the adults talk much more than hanging around with noisy kids. I felt as if something was wrong with me.
It wasn’t until my 30s when I took the Meyers Briggs personality inventory at work that I started to understand why I pursued play differently. I’m an ISTJ – a logistician. My profile includes boring words like “orderly” “diligent” and “responsible.” Even my “play” gravitates into something task-oriented.
Yet somehow I don’t fit the logistician mold completely. I have a deep creative drive that values experimentation and expression. I want whimsy and beauty surrounding me. I want to experience joy. That duality makes me one of the rare people who can bridge creativity and project management. In my sculptures, that diligent streak comes out in the level of “fussiness” that I place on capturing details. Yet, the duality makes me feel like I have two souls (one structured and one expressive) that never get to be completely realized.
While I understand my tendencies to be a workaholic who even turns fun things into tasks, the question I’ve been asking myself for a while now is “should there be actual play in my life, and if so what does that look like?”
I can’t wait to explore this more with Melanie.